Privacy Policy
We know you value your privacy — and honestly, so do we. This Privacy Policy explains what we do with your data, how we handle it, and how we promise not to do anything too weird with it.
Who we are
We’re the creators of this site, and our mission is to give you an awesome experience while protecting your privacy. When we say "we," we mean the people behind this website, not a secret society with a bloodlust for world domination. Just regular folks trying to make the internet a doper (is that a word?) place.
information we collect
Okay, here’s the part where we get quasi official. We collect different kinds of information, including:
- Information you give us: This includes the stuff you type in when you sign up, send us a message, leave a comment, or fill out any forms. Most days, we’re not psychos psychics — we'll only know what you tell us.
- Automatically-collected information: When you visit our site, we automatically collect some info about you (don’t freak out). This can include your IP address, what pages you visit, how long you stayed, your inseam length, and which buttons you clicked. Think of it like leaving a digital footprint.
- Edibles Cookies: Yes, we use cookies. Not the tasty ones your grandma gets baked on bakes, but the little digital trackers that help us spy improve your experience. Here’s the deal:
- Tracking cookies: We use them to see what you look like, where you sleep, what you don’t, and sometimes, what weird stuff you search for at 2 AM.
- Denying cookies: You can block them if you want, but we’ll definitely judge you. Also, the site might not work as well, and you’ll probably miss out on our awesome Dawson’s Creek GIFs.
- Eating cookies: We wish we could offer real cookies, but sadly, we’re just talking about data. If you’re still craving actual cookies here’s one of those links we referenced above.
TL;DR: We collect stuff you tell us, and stuff that’s automatically tracked while you’re here.
How we use your information
Why do we collect all of this info? Because we’re not magicians, and we need it to:
- Provide a better experience: We use your info to make sure the website looks good, works smoothly, and doesn’t crash and burn your computer and its surroundings. Basically, your data helps us give you a site that doesn’t suck.
- Communicate with you: If you contact us, we’ll use your info to respond, unless you’re a spammer or bot, in which case you should read this. We might also send you the occasional email but we promise not to spam the bejeebers out of you.
- Improve the site: We use data to make the site better over time, like a fine wine —and James Van Der Beek. If something’s not working, your data helps us fix it. If something is working, we’ll probably do more of that.
TL;DR: We use your info to make our site awesome, not to do sketchy stuff.
Sharing your information
We’re not Google monsters, so we won’t share your data with just anyone. Here’s when we might share your information:
- With service providers: We use third-party tools (like analytics and email platforms) that might need access to some of your info to make our site work.
- Legal requirements: Unfortunately we’re not above the law. If the law says we have to share your info, we probably will move to Switzerland. This includes cases where we have to protect our rights or prevent fraud.
- Business transfers: If we ever decide to sell the Company (unlikely, but who knows?), your info might be part of the deal. Don’t worry — we’d TOTALLY make sure the new owners aren’t diabolical.
TL;DR: We use your info to make our site awesome, not to do sketchy stuff.
How we keep your data safe
We take security seriously. We use all sorts of techy things to keep your info as safe as is super-humanly possible, including:
- Secure servers: We store your data in secure servers guarded by metaphorical dopamine-addicted dragons with short tempers.
- Access control: Only authorized people (a.k.a. our trusted team of high-functioning dopamine addicts) can access your info.
Real talk: Nothing is 100% secure on the internet, but we do our absolute best to protect your data.
Your choices and rights
You have some control over your data (cue superhero music):
- Access & update: Want to see what info we have on you? Just ask. Want to change something? Just contact us.
- Delete: If you want us to delete your info, we will — unless we legally have to keep it. No hard feelings.
- Opt-Out: Don’t want marketing emails? Hit that “unsubscribe” button. You can also block cookies using your browser settings (but we’ll be a little sad).
Reminder: Your rights are important to us. We’re not monsters.
How long we keep your information
We only keep your data as long as we need it. Once we’re done, we’ll get rid of it — no hoarding here. Here’s the breakdown:
- Account info: As long as you have an account with us, we’ll keep your info. If you delete it, we’ll wave goodbye and erase your data (except for anything we need to keep for legal reasons).
- Cookies: Like milk, cookies have expiration dates, and they’ll expire when they’re no longer needed. We don’t keep them forever, unlike our James Van Der Beek posters.
Translation: We’re not into digital clutter, so we delete stuff when we don’t need it.
Children's Privacy
This website isn’t for kids under 13. We don’t intentionally collect data from minors, so if you’re reading this and you’re under 13 — go play outside. If you’re over 30 and still living in your parents basement — please convey our regards to the half-elf crew, you Dragonborn. If you think we’ve accidentally collected data from a minor, let us know, and we’ll delete it.
Changes to this Privacy Policy
We might tweak this policy now and then. If we make big changes, we’ll let you know —maybe with a pop-up or a giant flashing banner (or something more subtle, who knows). If you keep using the site after the changes, that means you’re okay with the new version.
Final Note: We take privacy seriously, even if we don’t take ourselves too seriously. Thanks for trusting us.