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presents
The Ultimate Collection of rejected Brand Slogans
mindspaceagency.com
Want to see more stupid sh*t?
Viagra
Just try it. How hard can it be?
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Rice Krispies
The only food you can hear that isn’t still breathing.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Honda
The Power of Dreams. Just not the Ferrari one.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Moneytree Lending
No time to read a contract? We’re here for you!
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Hostess Twinkies
Don’t ask. Just eat it.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Crocs
Who needs arch support when you can have ventilation?
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Spirit Airlines
If we could get away with it, you’d be standing.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Nature Valley Crunchy Granola Bars
Proudly sponsored by Hoover since 1975.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
The Onion
It was supposed to be satire, Florida. SATIRE!!
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Spotify
Pay us $11 a month or we’ll have someone whisper about the McDonald’s crispy chicken sandwich in your ear every 30 seconds.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Motel 6
We’ll leave the blacklight out for you.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Ball Park Franks
In the ball park of meat.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Yellow Pages
Sure, but try using Google as a booster seat!
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Fox News
Like a breakfast burrito — not bad when it’s fresh, but then it repeats all day long.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Juicy Juice
In case you didn’t know what juice was.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Sears
Yes, some people actually buy their clothes here.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Visa
It’s everywhere you want to tighten the suffocating chains of consumer debt.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
OfficeMax
All the fun of shopping without the fun.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Las Vegas
If you’re fortunate to have a job, money, and dignity, come here to lose all of them!
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
LasVegas
What happens here, stays here. And on TicTok. And Twitter. And your drunk buddy’s cell phone camera. But that’s it.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Vick’s Vaporub
Seems creepy but definitely isn’t!
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Kellogg’s Corn Flakes
Still on the bottom shelf.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Walmart
We’re all God’s children. Remember that.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
The Egg Council
The incredible, edible pre-chick embryos.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
The Big and Tall Store
Where large men who aren’t professional athletes can finally feel accounted for.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Zoom
Enjoy the convenience of pants-optional sales meetings.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Ross
Dross for less.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Staples
We have everything you need for the office, except hope.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
The Learning Channel (TLC)
Learn how to destroy families, one show at a time.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Vlasic Pickles
Warning: Use only as a fake cigar. Trust us, burning pickle smells pretty terrible.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Instagram
Making your life look better since 2010.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Maybelline
Maybe she’s born with blue eyelids.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Volkswagen
Hey, it’s better than Führerwagen.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Sara Lee
Nobody doesn’t like double negations.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Facebook
Connect and share with people you barely remember.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Velveeta
The only cheese that lasts for 35 years.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Merrill Lynch
We see your financial life in total ... it’s about half over.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Playboy
We’re not really sure what our HR department does.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Gap Kids
For kids, by kids.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Nike
Just do it. Or just look like you do.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Circle K
Take it easy with heat lamp hot dogs.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Palmolive Dish Liquid
You’re definitely drinking it.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Fresh Express Salad Kits
Now with bag-opening-and-salad-stirring monkeys for the ultra-lazy.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
American Express
You can’t put the annual fee on the card. Even we don’t take American Express!
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
M&M’s
Melts in your mouth, not in your hands — unless you count all those pastel-colored circles in your sweaty palm.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Pringles
I’ve got the fever for the flavor of reconstituted potato flakes.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Kleenex
When people are watching, use Kleenex.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Grey Poupon
Pardon me. Would you have any mustard with a name that sounds like the morning after you fed the dog bad shrimp?
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
YC’s Mongolian Wok
UN-approved ethnic cleansing.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Geico
100 minutes could save you 100% on car insurance ... ok ... we’re still perfecting our business model.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.