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presents
The Ultimate Collection of rejected Brand Slogans
mindspaceagency.com
Want to see more stupid sh*t?
U.S. Forest Service
Only YOU can prevent forest fires. Unless you live in California.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Maybelline
Maybe she’s born with blue eyelids.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Miracle Whip
Mayonnaise lovers hate it. Mayonnaise haters think it’s just as bad. It’s a miracle we sell any.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Polaroid
Imagine seeing your picture almost instantly? Right, but on older technology?
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Morton’s Steakhouse
The first time you travel on an expense account, choose Mortons.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Budweiser
This Bud’s for you; that Guinness is for me.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Lay’s
You can’t eat just one unless you just ate one entire bag of Ruffles (speaking from experience).
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Activia
The real Go-gurt
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Kraft Macaroni and Cheese
Using only the finest in powdered cheeses to achieve the proud distinction as “the chessiest”.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Comfort Inn
Discomfort out.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Sears
Yes, some people actually buy their clothes here.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Jack in the Box
There’s a reason why our tacos are two for a dollar.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Radio Shack
Our name says it all.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
La-Z-Boy
When you’ve completely stopped trying to impress her.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Twitter
Everything that drifts through the transom of your mind is interesting ... you should definitely post it!!!
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
The Home Depot
You can’t do it. We won’t help.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Pop-Tarts
What ramen is to pasta, Pop-Tarts is to fruit.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Monopoly
The fun way to ruin friendships since 1935.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
American Express
You can’t put the annual fee on the card. Even we don’t take American Express!
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Greyhound
Leave the driving, temperature and music controls to us.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Smith Barney
We make money the old-fashioned way. We send incomprehensible quarterly statements and bury our fees on page 18.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Velcro
Helping children and old people wear shoes since 1955.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Coca-Cola
Who needs cocaine when you can slam 10 teaspoons of raw sugar?
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
IKEA
The meatballs are there for you IF you find your way out.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Taco Bell
Live Más. Regret even más in about two hours.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Nyquil
The isn’t-there-any-way-we-can-keep-these-kids-quiet-on-the-airplane medicine.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Circle K
Take it easy with heat lamp hot dogs.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Sure Deodorant
Only raise your hand if you are REALLY, REALLY, REALLY Sure.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Palmolive Dish Liquid
You’re definitely drinking it.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
World of Warcraft
The largest network of pasty white single men who live in their grandma’s basement in the world.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
OnlyFans
Because leering at your daughter’s sorority sisters from the bushes is super creepy.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Google
First, do no harm; except a touch of global voyeurism.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Sprite
Lemon-lame.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Old Spice
Smells like memories.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Merrill Lynch
We see your financial life in total ... it’s about half over.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Campbell’s Soup
M’m M’m, microscopic pieces of chicken.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Camel
I’d walk a mile for a Camel, but I can’t.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Kotex
It gives you wiiiings! Wait. That’s taken?
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Southwest Airlines
Bringing the excitement and romance of bus travel to the skies.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Miracle Whip
Soybean oil, high fructose corn syrup, artificial color ... mmm, it IS a miracle.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Nike
Just do it. Or just look like you do.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Blue Cross, Blue Shield
Insuring people without pre-existing conditions for as long as the alcohol numbs our guilt.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Coors Light
The mountains turn blue in case your hands are completely numb.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Midol
Hey, at least it’s not a baby!
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Ford
Built to last until approximately 124 miles after your drivetrain warranty expires.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Wheaties
The breakfast of champions who don’t understand the benefits of protein.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Lacoste
Lacostly.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Exxon
Like you’ve never spilled anything before.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Secret Deodorant
Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman, who is also as strong as a man.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Sperry
Boat shoes for the boatless.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.